The Life We See, and the Consciousness Behind It

Reflections on consciousness, habits, and the patterns we quietly live by.

This is a longer reflection about consciousness, habits, and the patterns we live with.
If you’ve ever wondered why we sometimes repeat the same experiences in life, this might resonate with you.

Recently I’ve been writing about the body and cellular health.
But while writing, I kept noticing something running quietly alongside it.

Not just the body.
But consciousness.

And how much of our life seems to be shaped by it.

---

More than ten years ago, I came across a short passage.
It was in a TV show called Mom.

The mother and daughter in the show were both members of AA,
and this was something every member would recite:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

At the time, I was simply curious why these words mattered so much.

Later, I started to see why they might matter.

---

When people keep focusing on things they cannot change,
an uncomfortable feeling often begins to build.

And when that feeling stays for a while,
many of us seem to look for something to soften it.

Sometimes it’s alcohol.
Sometimes it’s attention.
Sometimes it’s being needed by others.
Sometimes it’s constant distraction.
And sometimes, it can even be anger — or something else entirely.

Not necessarily because we truly want those things,
but because, for a moment, they seem to ease something inside.

Over time, that relief can quietly become something we rely on.

---

And sometimes, it isn’t obvious.

It can look like scrolling for hours without noticing.
Constantly checking messages.
Needing reassurance again and again.
Or replaying the same thoughts late at night.

From the outside, everything can look fine.

But inside, something may be trying to move away from discomfort.

At some point, I noticed I was doing this too.

---

And over time, a different question began to appear.

Not
“How do I change what’s outside?”

But rather
“What is happening inside me right now?”

Something about that shift felt important to me.
Though I’m still learning what it really means.

---

Years later, I began to notice something similar
in other parts of life.

Many things seem to begin with our inner state.

I used to hear people say:

“Believe, and you will receive.”

At first, it felt a bit abstract.
But over time, I started to look at it differently.

---

When awareness stays on
“What if things go wrong?”

a lot of energy can go into control, prevention, and checking.

This can show up in relationships,
but also in work, health, or life decisions.

Some thoughts may sound familiar:

What if I fail?
What if this doesn’t work?
What if something goes wrong again?

I’m not saying those are the wrong questions to ask.
There may not be a clear right or wrong here.

But when those thoughts become the focus —
or even a belief —

without really noticing,
much of the energy goes into protecting against the future.

Over time, that can slowly shape how we experience life.

---

But when something inside shifts — even slightly —
attention sometimes begins to move in another direction.

Toward building instead of guarding.

Building a relationship.
Building a project.
Building a healthier life.

From the outside, it may look like the same life.

But the direction can feel different.

---

Over time, I started to wonder
if something else might be happening here.

Sometimes it feels like consciousness —
what we hold inside —
gradually becomes part of the reality we experience.

But there seems to be another layer as well.

Many of our reactions don’t really feel deliberate.

They’re more like patterns,
moving on their own — autopilot

And much of that seems to come from the subconscious.

---

Around 2010, I first came across Ho’oponopono.

To be honest, it felt a little strange to me at the beginning.

Back then, Pat and I had a tradition.
Every year, we would take a road trip around the island.

And almost every time, the trip would end in an argument.

---

One year during the trip,
I picked up the book Zero Limits again.

This time, I didn’t try to understand it too much.
I simply followed what was suggested.

The four phrases:

I love you.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.

The idea was simple:

Focus on clearing something within yourself.
And sometimes, things around you seem to shift as well.

---

The next morning, something unexpected happened.

Pat told me
he had recently started exploring spirituality.

It felt a little surreal.

Later in the trip, when we reached the east coast,
I continued the practice.

At that time, my sister had been struggling
to find a job for quite a while.

I included that situation in the practice as well.

---

That evening, she called.
She had found a position —
and she’s still there today.

During that whole trip,
we didn’t argue.

For the first time.

---

This is just a story.

But it stayed with me.

And since then, I’ve found myself
returning to this kind of practice from time to time.

Not expecting something dramatic.

But often, things become a little quieter inside.

---

Maybe the body needs care.
Maybe the environment needs adjustment.

And sometimes,
it feels like we’re simply learning
to see what’s already there
a little more clearly.

---

If you ever find yourself stuck in a pattern,
there may not be a need to believe any of this completely.

But you might try, quietly,
repeating those four sentences —
and noticing what happens within you.

The world outside may not change right away.

But sometimes,
the way we experience it does.

And sometimes I wonder
if life responds to that
more than we realize.

Further Reading

• If you’re exploring questions about direction in life,
  you may also like this reflection:
  What on Earth Do You Want?
• If you’re noticing repeating patterns in your experience,
• this article continues the conversation:
  Why Do I Keep Repeating the Same Patterns in My Life?
• For readers curious about the practice mentioned above:
  What’s Ho’oponopono? WIkipedia